The Perpetual Reckoning
Every bad decision you've made, every clue you've misunderstood, and every shortcut you've taken through a haunted bog has led to this: the grand finale. This is the part where you, a handful of ill-equipped malcontents, get to have a go at something so monumentally large and angry that the sensible thing to do would be to run away and open a flower shop.
You will not be hacking away at its ankles like in the storybooks; that's like a fly trying to fell an oak tree by headbutting it. No, this is a far more personal and humiliating affair. You'll be scrambling across its back like fleas on a dog, desperately trying to sabotage a single, massive limb while the beast itself barely even registers your presence.
It is a battle fought in stages, a desperate attempt to chip away at a walking mountain that is actively trying to shake you off and stomp you into a fine paste. You'll be dodging its "Cataclysm" attacks, which aren't so much aimed strikes as they are geological events that happen to be in your general vicinity.
Good luck, MF. You're going to need it.
The Wayfarer's Journey
Right, so you've finished your drink and have decided to inflict yourselves upon the world again. Excellent. The bit between the relative safety of the pub and the next place you're scheduled to get stabbed is called the 'Journey'.
This isn't a scenic tour. It's a miserable slog through bogs that want to eat your boots and plains where the wind has a personal grudge against you. Every step is a chance to stumble into a new and exciting form of trouble, from an ambush by half-starved cannibals to a sudden, inconveniently placed landslide. Think of it less as an adventure and more as a series of fresh indignities.
You'll be navigating by maps drawn by madmen, eating food that would make a vulture gag, and sleeping in hollow logs that you'll only discover were already occupied by something with too many teeth when it's far too late.
The Journey is the part of the story that the bards always skip over, a litany of trench foot, bad weather, and the constant, nagging feeling that you've left the good Grog back at the pub.
Side Quests
The main quest is a noble and glorious path to almost certain death, but what about the bills? A warband cannot live on glory alone. That's where side quests come in. These are the odd jobs, the petty errands, and the morally dubious favours you do when you're too broke to afford another round.
From 'retrieving' a prized pig for a vengeful farmer to 'testing the security' of a merchant's warehouse, these are the little distractions that keep your pockets full of Shiners and your soul perpetually stained. They're not glamorous, but they're what pay for the good beer.
You'll find yourself risking life and limb for the most preposterous reasons: settling a drunken argument between two rival brewers, hunting down a particular type of rare, flavourful bog-slug for a gourmand, or 'repossessing' an item for a client who conveniently forgot to mention the current owner is a seven-foot-tall brute with a grudge.
It's the dirty work, the small print of the adventuring contract.
Tavern Craf
Welcome to the fine art of alchemical malpractice, conducted on a sticky table in the back of the world's least reputable pub.
This is where you'll take the pulsating organ of some beast you barely survived fighting and try to turn it into a zesty condiment. Tavern Craf is what happens when questionable ingredients meet even more questionable life choices.
It is a science born of desperation and cheap ale, a chaotic experiment where the primary tools are a rusty knife, a stolen cauldron, and a profound disrespect for the laws of nature. You'll be mixing volatile Juice Grubs with explosive fungi, praying you've remembered the recipe correctly, all while the Barman yells at you for getting toxic entrails on his good tables.
Will you create a potion that melts armour, or one that merely gives you a chemically-induced sense of regret? There's only one way to find out.
Do try not to lose a finger.
Gossip Overhead in the Market Square
A swift and vicious scout. Kreskia is tasked with harrying the flanks of the enemy and hamstringing any who are foolish enough to try and flee the main charge.
Claw-Runner Vexia