
Beastiary
All the different things in the Eightpints that you can kill and cook.
Try kill and cook.
Try kill and try cook.
MF, You're probably dead already.
So MF, you've bought a sword? Polished your helmet, accepted a contract from some teary-eyed merchant, and now you're off to make a name for yourself? Wonderful. Do try to remember your name MF, it makes writing the epitaph so much easier for the tombstone carver.
Let's be clear about what's actually out there, beyond the reassuring fug of the pub's fireplace: You're picturing goblins, I imagine. Big spiders, maybe a grumpy troll. Adorable. Cute. The reality, my dear would-be hero, is so much more creatively banal. We live in a world where the swamps have performance anxiety, the scrapyards are having an industrial revolution with a body count, and the local wildlife has a nasty habit of chewing on plate mail for its dietary iron.
The following texts are a best-effort attempt to catalogue some of the world's more overly enthusiastic welcoming committees. You'll find your Maulers, who are essentially walking, angry geology. You'll find the various factions, who will happily explain their bizarrely complex philosophies to you right before they try to "perfect" you into a skeleton or "tithe" your blood to their aquatic landlord. And you'll find the countless other things that scurry and bite and dissolve.
Read it, by all means. It might even help. But understand that this book's primary function is to give you a semi-accurate description of the thing that's about to eat you. It's a menu, in reverse.
Try not to get any blood on the good furniture when you come screaming back. Or, more likely, when you don't, MF.
The Mire
A wet, oppressive silence hangs over the Mire, broken only by the buzz of blood-flies and the soft, sucking sound of the mud. The air is thick with the sickly sweet scent of the Corpse-Lilies and the ghostly glow of Bog-Lanterns reflecting on the black, still water. Every ripple could be a hunting Swamparoo, every log a patient Jacaré-Emboscada. Here, you don't fight the swamp; you survive it, hoping the Slow-Current doesn't decide to pull you under.
Chamuscado Glass Wastes aka "The Cham"
The sun here is not a source of life, but a relentless hammer that has beaten the very sand into a sea of shattered, shimmering glass. The Chamuscado Glass Wastes are a beautiful and lethal mirage, a landscape of razor-sharp edges and blinding reflections. Every step is a gamble, and the only inhabitants are those who have learned to thrive in a world that can cut them to ribbons. The Doku-ya Juy'ata call this crucible home, for they know that in a place of such harsh, undeniable truth, there is no room for weakness.
The Docklands & Warehousery Industrial Landscape Ltd.
aka "The Docks"
The Docks are a maze of splintered wood, salt-stained stone, and the perpetual stink of bilge-water and cheap ale. By day, it's a place of grim commerce, the air filled with the shouts of merchants and the groan of straining cranes. By night, it belongs to the smugglers, the press-gangs, and things that crawl out of the polluted harbour. Every shadow is a threat, every crate might hold a lurking spirit, and every dropped Shiner risks attracting the attention of the things that swim in the deep, dark water below the piers.
Ancient Battlefield
There is a profound and heavy silence on the Ancient Battlefield, a place so saturated with sorrow that even the wind seems to hold its breath. Shattered siege engines lie where they fell, and the dust is made more of bone than of earth. This is a graveyard of empires, haunted not just by the spirits of the dead, but by the very memory of the violence itself. To walk here is to walk through a story of a thousand forgotten last stands, and to feel the weight of every single one.
Scrapyard Shanties
You can hear the Shanties before you can see them—a constant, manic symphony of grinding gears, hissing steam, and the occasional, deafening explosion. This is the domain of the Scrap-Tek Horde, a vertical city built from the refuse of the world, all under a permanent, smog-choked orange sky. To live here is to embrace chaos, to navigate rickety walkways a thousand feet in the air while feral, machine-pests skitter in the walls. It is a testament to the mad genius of Krank, a place where the only law is that if a thing works, it doesn't yet have enough modifications.
Defiled Ruins
This place was once a bastion of order, but now it is a cancerous wound upon the land. The Defiled Ruins are where the cosmic filth of The Sink has bled through reality, creating a landscape of pure body horror. Stone weeps with a bloody ichor, the ground pulses with grotesque, fleshy pustules, and the air is thick with the psychic screams of a reality in torment. The creatures here are not just monsters; they are mockeries of life, the horrifying, half-formed thoughts of dead gods given flesh.
Hountains & Mills
The first thing you notice is the noise. It is a constant, deep, grinding hum that travels up from the soles of your feet and settles in your teeth. It is the sound of the great Mills, the sound of a mountain being slowly and methodically devoured. The air here is sharp and thin, and it carries two scents: the clean, cold smell of pine and high-altitude rock, and a strange, chemical tang that stings the back of your throat—the unmistakable taste of raw Alka-Hest. Every path is steep, every shadow is deep. Up on the peaks, you can see the strange, beautiful lights of the vents, but down in the valleys, all you can hear is the ceaseless, hungry grinding of the machines.
Loot these fabulous beasties might be guarding




